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The boss invited the girlfriend and myself over to his house for dinner the other night. He cooked chicken with noodles and red chili sauce. It tasted suspiciously like the chicken and noodles that we sell in our shops but I said nothing, even when he moaned about slaving over a hot wok etc.

He said I should find out from people what they want to see in our shops and forecourts, ask them straight out he said. I asked him if we shouldn't sell those do-it-yourself breathalyser kits in our shops, but the boss said no. He said the only message worth giving out is: "if you drink don't drive" and vice versa. I guess he's right.

After a couple of glasses of wine I was just settling in for a good session and trying to steer the conversation around to the subject of money and my long promised pay rise when the boss turned to his wife and said "Darling, I think its time we went to bed and let these lovely people go home". The boss has a way with words. The girlfriend drove home.