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I thought for a moment it was a joke, that is, the new Topaz strapline, that's better. When I noticed it appearing on other bits and pieces as the oil giant's lumbering rebranding machine rolled out the new brand, it struck me as very odd that such a huge operation would resort to nicking a strapline from a much smaller, albeit nimbler, company. What seemed even stranger was that when you compare them now that's better wins hand down!

Now I am not a great sleeper. Sometimes down here in the complaints department I tend to daydream a little. Yesterday I had a funny little dream.

A Topaz and an Applegreen employee meet and start to discuss the merits and benefits of their respective company. After a brief exchange the discussion deteriorated into a catcalling match. T.E. We're better. A.E. no we're better. T.E. yes it is. A.E. no it isn't. T.E. your logo is a stupid green apple. A.E. your logo is a punctured tyre. T.E. our strap line, that's better. A.E. we thought of it first, now that's better.