blog

As I drove home along the N7 one saturday morning just a couple of weeks ago I realized I had guests coming to dinner and was missing a few vital things. Good fresh bread for instance. What's the point in producing a wonderful Insalata Mista if you don't have some great crusty Scali bread.

At that very moment I remembered that Dunne and Crezcenzi, purveyers of authentic Italian food had opened at the Kildare Village Outlet Center which at that very moment had popped it's head over the N7 embankment whizzing by on my right. So, quick as a flash I turned off and headed for the place. I had often noticed it but was usually in too much of a hurry to stop.

I turned into the huge deserted car park and immediately wondered if the place was in fact open. Already 10.20 on a Saturday morning and yet little sign of life. Surreal is a word that comes to mind as I spotted a car perched atop a big stone bollard at one corner of the car park! Immediately my journalistic instinct took over and I whipped out my iphone to capture the sight.

That's when things started to get weird. Suddenly a hand tried to grab my phone and I was confronted by a person saying threateningly "We don't like photos at the village". Now when I feel threatened my mind goes into overdrive, in a flash several scenarios unfolded before me. One, the village had been attacked by aliens who were holding all the shoppers hostage inside and had popped the car up on the bollard in the massive car park just to show off their powers. that would explain the lack of shoppers and the general deserted air of the place. Two, the place is a front for some kind of secret service operation and really isn't a shopping center at all. That would explain the lack of shoppers and deserted air of the place. Three, perhaps there's a general sense of paranoia and self importance around the place due to the presence of all those big brands, but that wouldn't explain the lack of shoppers and general deserted air of the place or would it?

Just imagine you and your family have had first communion day breakfast at Dunne and Crezcenzi's wonderful Cafe at the Kildare Village and as you leave granny takes out her camera. She wants to take a picture of her favourite nephew, as grannies are wont to do. So the family lines up in the Village square, then, just as granny is about to click for posterity, out jump the Village people and shout, not "YMCA," but rather "We don't like photos at the Village", don't you think granny would be so disappointed...