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Sometimes these days it's very hard to tell fantasy from reality. So imagine my confusion as I watched the box the other night and Bertie took to the floor saying he was going to show us, the next steps. Enda calmly glided across the floor muttering something about contracts and partners, Pat Rabbitte led them all in a merry dance, Michael Mc Dowell did some form of pole dance in Ranelagh with John Gormley...then George Hook gave them 10 points and I realised I had fallen asleep watching the News and woken up during Celebrity Jigs and Reels.

Now it took me a while to notice the difference and I realised there's a thin line between the two, in fact I see no reason not to use that tried and trusted text voting system for the election. Forget all that complicated proportional representation stuff, one person one mobile, with a five minute window to vote as often as possible. We could even charge €1 a text and buy a few hospital beds with the proceeds.

The boss says I'm prone to flights of fantasy and should concern myself with reality, so I reminded him that the text system worked very well in the Eurovision Song Contest, he had to agree. You may have noticed the audience on Tubridy Tonight listened to my advice and voted to send Dustin the Turkey to the Eurovision next year, now that's a step in the right direction. All I have to do now is figure out which turkey to vote for on Thursday.