A new star in the east, lapkins and a feeling of power.
Wow, Christmas really crept up on me this year. Come to think of it, I think it crept up on me last year as well. Not that I feel much festive spirit down here in the complaints department. I did manage to hang some tinsel on the office dog, but after he whined for almost three hours nonstop, I gave in and removed it. The man above, asked me if I knew about the new star on the horizon. I assumed he was talking about the one that appears in the east.. No, he said, it's not that kind of star, that was a figure of speech he said, a metaphor for the wonderful new Applegreen service station, which just opened off Exit 5, 0n the M1 at Balbriggan. It was obvious from the look he shot me that he was none too impressed by my failure to recognize his dazzling literary abilities.
Having cleared up the mix-up between the spiritual and the commercial, he went on to pontificate about this new motorway Applegreen. "State of the art", he said..."best looking station in the country by far". At this stage I was about to drift off as his voice droned on and on, when I was abruptly brought back to reality as his fist hit the desk . "I've got an idea", he exclaimed, "why don't you drive up there and take the new Applegreen/Lavazza lapkins with you, they just arrived". "Napkins?" I replied, "Lapkins" he shot back , "Why do you never listen?." At that stage I figured I better not argue, "Sure" I said, "why not?", delighted with the opportunity to go for a drive. "Great, well that's settled then " said the boss as he bustled out, delighted he had found another simple solution (for himself).
I called ahead just to tell them I was bringing the lapkins. "Lapkins?" came the manager's reply, "Surely you mean napkins?"
"No, lapkins" I sighed impatiently. For a fleeting moment I felt the power surge the boss must feel when he speaks to me.
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