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Sometimes it get's kind of lonely down here in the complaints department. I really need some company. No point in looking for a complaints department assistant, the boss will simply laugh in my face. The fact remains I can hardly go on, alone, talking to myself in the complaints department...indefinitely. The only time I get out of here and meet anyone is when I bring the boss his coffee.

If there's one thing the boss really looks forward to each day, it's his coffee. Only 5 years ago there was a dearth of good coffee in Ireland, certainly outside of Dublin. These days coffee is everywhere, good coffee is widely available.

However the boss is not looking for just good coffee. He is not looking for that alibi coffee, that buffer zone before we do something coffee, that "I'm just going to grab a coffee" coffee. No, he wants a coffee that delivers on all his expectations. Freshly ground beans, hot, bursting with flavour, smooth but with a slight twist of character that elevates it above, well, just ordinary good coffee.

He likes the cup of coffee our customers get in the applegreen stores. He say's it's a damn fine cup of coffee. I have to agree with him. Bean to Roast Bean, Ground Roast Bean to Customers Cup, thats a damn fine cup of coffee. The boss say's its the best coffee to go, out there. I wouldn't really know as I never go, out there.

Damn fine cup of coffee. Damn fine, cup of coffee. Damn, fine cup of coffee. Dam....oops!, there I go talking to myself again.

A complaint...at last, some real work! Got a call this morning from a gentleman who had a genuinely bad customer experience at the Applegreen Service Station in Urlingford. Most travellers South to Cork, will be familiar with the well known oasis on the N8.

It seems that the man in question entered the store at approx. 8 am.desperately in need of a good coffee. As most of you will know Applegreen stations serve a superior brew, a bean to cup experience cherished by weary motorists everywhere. Well not this time. This time the machine was dirty and delivered only a half cup-full.

Although the customer did assure me the coffee tasted great we cannot apologize enough for the experience. It shouldn't have happened. After much investigation into the incident we spoke to the engineer who spent almost 3 hours servicing the machine the previous day and he then tested the machine pouring 6 consecutive coffees each of regular and large, but as often happens on such occasions each coffee was perfect.
However we are still investigating the half cup problem.

As for the dirty machine, for this we have no excuse, it's simply not good enough and we apologize unreservedly. We are taking all steps necessary to ensure that this problem does not arise again.

Next time this customer passes our way we hope he will give us the opportunity to restore his faith in us by dropping in and enjoying a superior (full cup of) coffee at the managers expense. Our coffee experience should be hugely pleasurable, after all its the best coffee on the road. If its anything less, let us know, or rather let me know!

Italy is one of my favourite countries. Mostly because of the food and the coffee, and all at a fair price. A perfect espresso in Rome, at least in the less touristy areas will cost you about 40 or 50 cents. Simple food alchemy like real tomatoes on toasted, garlic rubbed farmers loaf, drizzled with olive oil and topped with shaved parmesan can make you believe that cooking expertise is totally unnecessary.

Top that off with sea and sun and a glass of wine as you study the style and you have some idea what Giovanni Trapattoni will bring to our hapless International football team.

During his time as manager of Bayern Munich the team was nicknamed F.C. Hollywood simply because of how different he made them seem in contrast to the usually dour Bundesliga elevens. England finally woke up and smelled the coffee by hiring an Italian, who would have thought that Ireland would then go one better by hiring one of his heroes, a veritable legend in his own lifetime. It's a masterstroke!

Forget the glory-borey years of Jack Charlton, the inferiority complex days of Steve Staunton, Trap can take us all the way and what's more he can do it with style. He will also give us laughs and barrels of fun on the way and to top it off he's a real gentleman. The Celtic Tiger may have stopped roaring, but maybe we've finally dumped fashion and gotten some style.