Winning the Eurovision Song Contest is a simple ditty matter.
There's nothing like the Eurovision Song Contest to remind us how big, diverse and wacky Europe really is. After what was a marathon 7 hour, 3 night contest with different and spectacularly extravagant interval shows each night which included armies, massive water features, gypsy dance troupes and the proverbial Cecil B. Demille cast of thousands, an impish Norwegian fiddler with an average voice and a self penned ditty with a fairytale theme simply ran away with the competition.
The most interesting thing about this years contest was that it finally put paid to the claims of the old Eurovision stalwarts that they weren't winning any more because of block voting by the Eastern European countries . Almost all the countries involved gave Norway the infamous "douze points" proving that if your song is in fact catering to the lowest common denominator, i.e. not too complicated, melodically simple, light and bouncy and delivered by the boy or girl next door, if you tick all those right boxes, it doesn't matter if countries do throw some votes to their closest geographical neighbour.
This year the UK almost got it right, but the song was just a tad stiff and stage musical like, and the singer although obviously very talented tried a little too hard. The Germans again went for a slick genre defined swing thing. At this stage they have exhausted almost every genre not realising that by entering a song which clearly fits a genre one immediately limits the possibility for votes from across the board. Ireland made the same mistake with a pop rock effort which although very well performed had a slightly dated feel (anyone remember Katrina and the Waves?) that simply doesn't work across Europe.
My point is, it's not so difficult. If you really want to win the Eurovision don't think too much. Just think "Puppet on a String", "Boom Bang a Bang" "All kinds of Everything"or "La la la". Simple goes right across the board, crosses borders and wins.
Now maybe the boss knows more about the Eurovision than he pretends. He has said to me on many occasions "Mr. Crab, don't simply think , think simple ". It would also explain his taste in music, and after all, he was the one who came up with the Applegreen line "simple solutions daily".
