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Here's one I had to share., so lets move fast before I'm caught surfing the net. Most people are aware of Friedensreich Hundertwasser (1928–2000).  One of the many fascinating visions of the future this great artist left behind is his model of a village, which can be viewed in the Kunsthaus in Vienna. Coming from a belief that all horizontal surfaces should be returned to nature it is stunningly beautiful, suggesting a possible way to strike a delicate balance between nature  and our constant intrusions on it. 

So as the recession bites, yes even here in the complaints department we have begun to feel the pinch. The boss sent me a list of ways I could cut costs. Everytime you listen carefully to what your customer is telling you , he says, you can learn something. By acting on this information you avoid making the same mistake twice and therefore save money. It's simple, he said , just do your job properly and everything else will fall into place. The boss said people are fed up with lies and greed and just want some straight forward good value at a fair price. "Honesty of effort Mr Crab", he said, "that's what impresses the customer". I know the boss is not much of a footie fan, but he obviously is a fan of John Giles. I always thought JG had exclusive rights to that "honesty of effort" line.
I told the boss what I thought of the present economic situation. Everyone has to lower their expectations I said, people expect too much from every situation. Weddings that cost €30/40,000- , Confirmations and Communions that cost €10,000 +, pasta dishes that cost more than €10-, pizza that costs more than €10-. "People have totally lost their feeling for money Boss," I said. "Couldn't agree more Mr. Crab", he replied, "delighted to hear you agree with me, that's why I have decided to stop paying monthly commission and instead make a donation to charity , I am sure you understand the need for such actions in these trying times .
Of course we will also continue our better value offers throughout the year so our customers will have some relief from this dreadful downturn."  "Onwards and upwards Mr. Crab " he chuckled, as he grabbed his golf bag and disappeared out the door...